The Truth From Dubba Daddly (The World’s Biggest Liar)

You know, a lot of people don’t believe me when I say, “I was there.”

A few weeks ago, I just happened to go into a lounge-type bar, just to kill time while I was staying in a hotel in Oklahoma. The place was completely empty except the bartender, a fortyish woman with pink hair and silver sideburns. I swear she was wearing a wig. One guy in a suit was slumped over at the bar nursing a tropical zombie.

You just won’t believe who was sitting there!

Adolf Hitler.

I swear on my mother’s grave. He was sitting there moaning and groaning about the state of the world today. How no one seems to like each other and can’t see each other’s side.

He said, “Why can’t we just love each other?”

Oh you say he’s been dead all these years and if he was alive, how can I understand German? Well, I just can. I can’t speak it. Like a lot of languages, I just understand human language. I asked him how he’s still alive. 

He said, “The government has been giving me Clorox treatments to keep me alive.”

I said, “Come on, Adolf. The U.S. Government is keeping you alive? For what?”

He said, “Advice on world affairs. Alas,” he sighed, drank his Tropical Zombie. “I’m at a loss anymore.”

I said, “So, what are you doing in Oklahoma?”

“Oh, I’m here for the Trump Rally.”