Gear Jamin’

By Mark Slade

Two truckers, one mysterious box, and a road trip that spirals into the bizarre. Sonny and Will must navigate not just the open road but a web of secrets that could cost them their lives—or their souls.

Gear Jamin’ by Mark Slade

Sonny’s Tractor trailer eased onto  Highway 33 in West Point, which led  to 64 and into Richmond, VA. More specifically to  Chestnut Grove gas and lodge. Will wasn’t too happy about that. 

“Oh no, Sonny, come on. Here? Again?” Will leaned out the window and felt warm raindrops on his arm. It smelled the same as it did a month ago. Like rotten cabbage. The paper mill was just a few miles down the road and the smoke stacks choked out terrible black dust that covered the sky and made the coast look even darker on cloudy, dreary days.

“You know a cheaper place?” Sonny said. He smacked the steering wheel. “I only have twenty bucks on me until we can get this load of TV’s to that warehouse in Mechanicsville.” 

The truck crossed West Point bridge, a few minutes before the lights on the bridge were flashing red to alert drivers the bridge was open.to let a barge pass underneath.

“Last time we ate here both of us had to fight who went to the toilet first,” Will said.

“Look,” Sonny paused with a sigh.  He took a turn carefully on plum point road , making sure the fender of the truck did not collide with the narrow guard rail. The road was on a hill and Will looked out his window down on the clusters of businesses, a paved blacktop, a truckstop, and a large hotel neither he, nor Sonny could afford. “Jasper’s not that bad. He owes us a favor for getting his son a truckin’ job. He’ll give us a meal and coffee. I’m going to ask for sandwiches to go. That should take us right to Tuesday when we get the load to the warehouse.”

 The truck roared down onto the paved road and Sonny braked for the stoplight that just turned red. A woman and her small child in a Volkswagon bug pulled up beside them with her signal light to turn left to enter a road that would take her to Goochland. She and Will glanced at each other. She was a pretty blonde with hazel eyes. Will smiled at her and his mustaches formed a V. She smiled back and mouthed: Hello good lookin’. 

“Will you cut that out,” Sonny ordered. “Everytime you flirt with a girl we end up in jail.”

Will shrugged. “I can’t help it if I’m a handsome devil.”

Sonny scoffed. “Devil is right.” The light turned green. The girl in the Volkswagen veered left and the truck sped off toward the truckstop.  “Handsome is a word people use in kindness to you.”

“Jesus! Let’s get some food in you! You’re a mean S.O.B. when you’re hungry.”

Sonny felt guilty. They were friends in spite of their age difference, and friends were not supposed to behave that way. The whole trip they’d been at each other neck. 

“I’m sorry, Will. Let’s not argue anymore today, okay?”

Will smiled, his mustache formed a V again. “Sure, Sonny, sure.”

The truck rolled into a  parking space. He cut the engine off. The Doors opened  and both of them  jumped out of the cab at the same time, though Sonny’s landing was less graceful than Will’s. Outside is noisy with Trucks coming and going, outside traffic on the highway. Footsteps on pavement.

“Sonny,” Will started, as they walked through a long line of various tractor trailers, work trucks, buses, and Vendors. “It’s Friday. Two Sandwiches and Coffee won’t get us through three days. 

“Well, damn it! It will have to! I have to get a room. I can’t sleep in that smelly sleeper another night! Cloris will let us have a room at the Big Tent for twenty. I used to go with her—

“I know…..I know. I don’t think I can bear to hear another tall tale from your love life.”

“Tall tale, huh?!” Sonny screamed with childish anger. He kicked a rock and swung a closed fist in the air.  “Well, you can just eat from a garbage can, for all I care!”

“I’m-I’m sorry, Sonny. Oh, geez. We’re doing it again. This time, its my fault.” Will briefly touched Sonny on the shoulder realized what he was doing and jerked his hand away.  “Let’s go in there and…..try to be civil, if anything, to each other. What do you say?”

Sonny nodded, placed both hands in their respective backpocket. He hung his head, shrugged, and said, “I’m sorry, Will. Ill do better getting us better paying jobs.”

“No sweat, Sonny. Things are looking brighter already!”

They were not prepared for the wall of noise that came tumbling down on them when the door to the Chestnut Grove gas and lodge opened. Dining  ambience, ear-piercing clanging, overlapping voices chattering, and a jukebox blaring Chick Inspector by Dick Curless. A song Will vehemently hated, not exclusively for the oversexulizing of women, more to the fact that Curless vocal style annoyed the hell out him. He much preferred Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young.

“Wow!” Sonny said Cheerfully.”This place is rockin’!” 

Sonny, using expressions like “rockin’”, “cool”, and “man”, always tickled Will. The generation gap was never wider than in his good friend Sonny McCabe, ex-Korean vet, and thrice married, and forever doomed to be in debt. Still, Will, a latter day saint of the hippy transients, possibly less hipper than Sonny, quit teaching seventeenth century poetry at Columbia to travel the country and find himself. three years later, he didn’t have a clue as to where to look.

They finally found a table in the back corner across from two cowboys in oversized black stetsons, dressed to the nines with roses plastered all over their dress shirts, sleeves dipped in bar-b-q sauce. They plopped down in oily and sweaty wooden chairs. Will gagged on the rancid milk smell from the table. Sonny shooed a horsefly from his forehead, and gave Will a toothy grin.

“See, this isn’t so bad,” he said.

Will gave out a long sigh and frowned. “Yeah. Not so bad.”

“Hey,” Sonny’s demeanor became serious. “There’s Teddy Brown over there.”

Will rolled his eyes and said with a hint of disapproval: “With another redhead. Can’t that guy be happy with what he has at home?”

Sonny Chuckled. “Yeah….he already has two wives and eight kids.”

Will moved the salt and pepper shakers behind the ketchup bottle and turned them so the label faced him. “That’s a crowded house.”

Sonny raised an eyebrow. “Unusual for you to be judgmental.”

“Not judging,” Will scoffed.”Just making an observation.”

“Hey, the wives live together in the same house and they’re happy,” Sonny said. 

Will moved the salt and pepper shakers to their original spot on the table. “So Teddy says.”

Sonny moved them to his area. “Stop that, huh? Look, I don’t know. I just know I’m hungry and in dire need of some coffee.”

A small blonde haired woman in her late twenties swiveled over. She was in a pink  blouse missing the first three buttons that showed her wonderfully massive front, something Sonny appreciated very much with over zealous hell, darling call to nature voice. Will gave Sonny a stern look, and Sonny pocketed his usual charm whenever there was an attempt at picking up a female in the servant trade. She took a pen out of her tangled bun and removed a notepad from the pocket of her stained white apron.

“What can I get ya?” She said, chewing her gum feverishly.

Sheepishly, Sonny asked: “Say…uh….is Jasper here?”

Exasperated, the waitress said, “Jasper ain’t the owner no more.”

“What?” Will tossed a sugar pack on the table. “He was just last month!”

“That was April, buster. If you ain’t looked at a calendar, this is May. Things change real quick sometimes,” the waitress said.

“Well what happened?” Sonny asked.

“He sold out,” she said, handing menus to Sonny, and he quickly handed them back to her.  “We got a new owner.”

“Oh boy,” Will said, concerned.

“Shut up,” Sonny told him. “Let me handle this.”

“Sonny,” Will sighed, chose his words carefully. “No one is going to give us a free meal—”

They heard another voice enter the conversation before they saw who it belonged to. A lilting, effeminate, lisping, soft voice with deliberate, controlled speech as cold as  icicles. 

“You boys are hungry, huh?”

The waitress moved aside, waved a hand in  a slow, dreamy motion.

“That’s the new owner,”  she said. “Mr. Truman.”

He was a man in a dark gray suit and blood red tie. His hair hair was yellow , wispy and thin  combed in a tight small ponytail held together by fleshy ball of fabric. He was so well kept and clean, that he did not belong in a greasy restaurant with almost as any bugs and rodents as there were patrons.

“Doris,” Truman touched the waitress’ back. She flinched at his touch, and he removed his hand. A sly smile came and disappeared from his face.  “Bring out two plates of  steaks and fries. two cokes.”

“Sure thing,” the waitress said. “Burn ‘em or bring ‘em red?”

Sonny had a huge grin on his face, and an appreciative voice that choked on the words.“Doesn’t matter,” he said. “Any way you can fix ‘em.We’ll eat ‘em.”

Strike that, Doris. Bring them glasses of beer.  Beer okay for you boys?”

Sonny got excited. “Yeah, uh, that’s fine—”

Will got agitated, interrupted Sonny. “Mister, we can’t pay for any of this.”

Truman shrugged. He didn’t seem bothered by the situation.  “No problem,” he smiled, bared tiny, extremely white  teeth like a rabid dog. “No problem at all. This is on the house. Mind if I sit?”

“Your place,” Will said, apprehensive of Truman. “You can sit anywhere you like. Why are you doing this?

“I like truckers.” Truman sat next to Will, and he moved his chair two inches closer to Sonny. Truman smiled at that. That informed him of the trust and bond the two had with each other. “I’m the new guy here and I’d like to build a relationship with my patrons.”

“You do this for everyone?” Will asked.

Truman laughed. “Your partner is suspicious of me.”

“One of the many traits I have to put up with,” Sonny said. He turned to Will, looked at him cooly, and said in his best Father-to-son voice: “Will, cool it.Give the man a chance.”

“No,” Truman took a cigarette case from his inside jacket pocket, opened it and offered them both a Kool.

 Will and Sonny shook their heads. He placed a cigarette in his mouth and it lit up by itself. Will was stunned. He glanced at Sonny and realized he hadn’t noticed the strange little incident. Then he thought he’d blanked out and missed Truman using a match or a lighter. After all, he was pretty tired Driving and riding from Buffalo all the way to Virginia without much sleep.

Truman continued, “He should be. Truckin’ is like all other businesses. You have to look out for sharks and cons. Never know what people are up to.”  He took a long drag and exhaled smoke in Will’s direction.

Will said: “So what’s your game?”

Sonny was flabbergasted.  “Will…..the guy is offering us a free meal. At least say thank you.”

A beat passed and with a disengenous nicety,  Will said: “Thanks,”

“Let me introduce myself. I’m Oswald Truman.”

Sonny extended a hand and Truman shook it limply. “Sonny McCabe. This is Will Garner. My partner. We haul anything, anytime. All over the country.”

“So I’ve heard,” Truman said. “I also heard you boys lost a broker. 

“Yeah. Dallas Henderson died,” Sonny said. “He was eighty-two. His family had no idea how to run things. Business went to pot. We’ve tried to drum up business. But on your own, you just get taken. I need some work that pays. I have a payment on that rig due that was due last week.”

“So…lately none of the hauling work coming your way has been……shall we say….good investments? 

“Yeah,” Sonny said.“Nothing has panned out. We took a load of Watermelons from a farmer and they were all bad. No one would take them. We had to dump them in a field in Jersey.

“I bet you want us to haul something for you,” Will chimed in. He was sitting there with his arms crossed, taking in the whole conversation.

“Yes, Mr. Garner,” Truman said. He reached over to another table and retrieved an ashtray.  “I certainly do.” 

“We won’t do anything illegal—” 

“Will!” Sonny intereviened.

“Look! Something don’t feel right with this guy—”

“Give him a chance will ya? He don’t seem like a bad guy—”

When angry, Will sounds like he has marbles in his mouth and says his lines like runoff sentences, sometimes repeats the same words.

“How do you know?! We need work, sure! But I am not going to jail for anyone!”

“Who said anything about jail?!” Sonny exclaimed.

A moment went by. Will calmed down slightly.

“No one. But I bet I bet the cops will.”

Truman let out a prissy laugh.

“I like you fellas,” he said. “You remind me of  my Aunt and Uncle. Always at each others necks, but loved each other dearly.” 

Will scoffed at the term “Love”.

Truman went on. “Gets that way when you’ve partnered up with someone for a while.” Truman batted his long lashes. “Nothing illegal about what I need to be hauled. I assure you, Mr. Garner.”

“Tell me one thing,” Will said.

“Whatever you want to hear, Mr. Garner,” Truman said.

“What happened to Jasper?”

“I bought him out. Fair and square. He wanted to go back to Santa Fe. Play with his grandchildren.”

“Just like that?” Will asked.

Truman smiled. “Things move fast sometimes, Mr. Garner.”

“Sometimes too fast,” Will said.  “You run all your business from this truck stop?”

“I do now,” Truman stood, and stamped out his cigarette angrily. “You boys eat. Then meet me in my office.” He sauntered away from the dining area and around the corner to the offices beside the kitchen.

The Waitress brought the food finally. She carried the  plates awkwardly. Sonny rose from his chair quickly and helped her set the tray down on the table. She distributed the glasses first, then the steaks and fries, sashayed back to the kitchen. Sonny watched the whole ime with a toothy grin and a sparkle in his eyes.

****

“Why do you keep starin’ at us?” Will said to Truman. 

He was seated behind a large oak desk. The polish had long been scratched off and replaced with foul language and dirty puns. Will and Sonny sat on gray metal chairs that were causing Sonny’s hemorrhoids to act up.

“Will you knock it off!” Sonny said.

“He keeps sittin’ there, starin’ at us with a Cheshire cat grin!” Will paused, thought a second, and said, “I think he’s settin’ us up.”

Truman laughed. ” Your friend here is a smart guy.”

Sonny frowned. “A smart ass! I’m warning you,Will, behave!”

Will leaped out of  his chair. “I’ve had all I can take from you!”

Sonny did the same, jerked his thumb toward a window in the office. “You wanna take it outside, hotshot!?”

“You bet, old man!” Will retaliated, grabbed the door handle and tried to open it.  Felt like the door was glued shut. “What the……”

Sonny was ready to continue his rant. “I’ll show you who the old man is—-“

Truman stood quickly and interrupted before Sonny could say something he would later regret.”Oh, sit both of you!” There was an otherworldly hiss accompanying Truman’s voice. “Enough! No more words from either of you! I’m hiring the two of you, together. Take the job, Mr. Garner, or get out of my office! The same for you, Sonny…..”

That caught both of them off guard. Will gave Sonny a frightened glance, and Sonny returned the look. They quickly retained their seats. 

“Hold on,” Sonny said,  “I want the job.”

Truman sat down, straightened out the sleeves of his jacket. “I’m sorry. If Mr. Garner does not want my helping hand……then you cannot accept the job.”

They exchanged confused glances 

“Wait, now, Mr. Truman……”

“Both or neither of you,” Truman said, nostrils flared.  “My terms,” he paused for effect.  “Or the highway.”

Sony said to Will:

“Well? You got anything better to do?”

Wll  sighed deeply.

“Alright,” he said indignantly. “What’s the damn job?”

Truman chuckled softly. “I’m glad you accept my helping hand, Mr. Garner ” He  rose from his chair, leaned over the desk, and offered his hand.

“I’m not shaking your hand,” Will said. “I’m just taking the job.”

Truman scoffed, pulled his hand away. “Very well.” He said, slightly miffed. Truman opened a desk drawer and removed a small 5×10 wooden  box. He tossed it haphazardly on the desk.

Sonny and Will stared at it. Sonny looked at Truman and started to say something but Will beat him to it.

“That’s it?” Will pointed.  “That’s what you want us to haul? A tiny wooden box?”

“Say mister,” Sonny said, favoring diplomacy over crude sarcasm, which was his usual m.o.d. “Will is right. That’s…kinda odd.” Sonny rose, took a step to the desk. He touched the lid. Truman took the box out of Sonny’s hand.

“Don’t open it!” Truman screamed.

Sonny jerked his hand away. “I just want to see what’s in the box.” He pouted like a scorned child. “You didn’t have to snatch it out of my hands!”

“Do not open this box. Not ever,” Truman said, cradling it in his hands. “Both of you promise me, you will not open the box until you hand the box to the person at this address.”

Truman handed a piece of paper to Sonny. “I dont know about this,” He kept rereading the address, mouthing the words, and glancing up at Truman worriedly. “I don’t know about this,” Sonny repeated. “I don’t know about this.”

Will looked over Sonny’s shoulders. “Ralph Spare,” he read aloud slowly. “Carmody, Arizona. Long ways for a  smallbox. Not to mention one piece of cargo.”

“He’s an old friend of mine,” Truman tried to smile

“You’re starting to tick me off, fella,” Sonny said.

 Sonny was pissed. He moved toward Truman threateningly. Truman stood his ground, slightly ashen-faced, suddenly remembering who was in charge. Will touched Sonny on the shoulder. He glanced at Will, who shook his head. Sonny reluctantly backed away.

There was a beat before anyone spoke. Truman broke that silence.

“Promise you won’t open the box!”

Will Sighed. He wished he would have been able to talk Sonny out of coming to Virginia or getting a load of TV’s. He also knew how pig-headed Sonny was.

“Yeah,” Will said. “Alright.”

“Okay, okay,” Sonny chimed in.  “We will not open that stupid box. We gotta drop off some TVs in Richmond. How long do you want us to take to deliver the box?”

Truman shrugged.  “As long as it takes to get to Arizona.”

“You need a signature?” Will asked, still uncertain what they were about to get themselves into.

“No,” Truman said. “ I’ll know if it gets delivered or not. Just deliver the box to the address I gave you. You get thirty-five thousand dollars. No questions asked.”

****

Cars hissed by Sonny as he steadied the truck.  He saw the sign informing him they had just entered New Mexico. He felt a wave of relief. Will and he had made it nearly the whole trip without one argument, or even killing each other. He glanced over at Will, who was holding the box in his hands, studying it.

“You been staring at that stupid box for an hour,” Sonny said.

Will placed the box back in the cupholder gently. “ This job stinks,” he said, surveying the highway from the side mirror..

“Yeah,” Sonny said, taking the exit ramp carefully, around the bend and down to a stoplight, hitting the brakes just as the light turned red.  “So does going hungry. Just relax. Nothing bad can come from this.”

”How do you know?”

“Ohhh. I  can’t take this with you! The sulky Will is bad enough, the philosophical Will is the pits! I’ll take all responsibility for this, okay? If cops are involved—”

“If cops are involved our asses are cooked, buddy!”

“Will, just….go back in the cab and get some rest, huh? I’m gonna need you to drive in a few hours anyway.”

Will was stewing. He wanted some time away from the road, the truck, and definitely Sonny. He had to get through this best he could and drop the fighting, just go along.

“Yeah. I guess I am a little tired.” He rose slowly, kept his head and torso bent as he crawled through curtains to the cab.

“I’ll wake you in a few hours,” Sonny said.

****

Vehicles of all kinds zoomed by the truck. Will was cruising, feeling good about things. Singing along with  The Who. The song  was  blaring on the radio and the sky was blue.  At the next turn though, “Mobile” ended and a DJ tried to announce another song when static took over. The skies turned gray and it began to pour down  hard rain.  A few minutes later, the rain dissipated. The sky cleared up, and the radio returned with Alice Cooper’s “Ballad of Dwight Fry”.

“Hey……What’s this? An accident. Car turned upside down……looks bad. How come no cops are here?”

A ’74 Ford Pinto had run off the road and into a ditch. The backend was destroyed. No one was stopping to help. Will slowed the truck down, hit the signal light and pulled over a few feet from the wrecked car.

Sonny poked his head from behind the curtain covering the cab.

“What the heck is going on? Why are we stopping?”

“There’s been an accident, Sonny,” Will said sagely. He popped the the truck door and jumped out.  Sonny crawled out of the cab and followed Will. He stopped, and gasped.

“There’s been a car accident, Will! We gotta do something.” 

Will looked at Sonny incredulously. They examined the Pinto. The windshield was shattered, and left side  completely gone. Long scratches were on the passenger side and the fender was hanging off. Sonny saw a woman lying face down. Her shirt brown hair was matted to her head with blood. She stirred slightly, cried out 

“Look!” Sonny pointed Over there! There’s somebody over there In a ditch!”

They trotted over to help her.

“Looks like she’s alive,” Will said. He knelt, touched her back gently. “I think she’s moving!”

The woman was badly bruised. There was a small cut on the back of her head that had stopped bleeding and caked over. Her  blouse and jeans were ripped and torn, and her face and hands dirty from lying in the ditch.

“Hey,” Will said as he examined her. “Take it easy.” He was looking for cuts on the woman’s face and body. She had none. Very curious for someone who was thrown through the windshield. Or he assumed she was.

Cathy tried to get to her feet,but Will encouraged her to stay put. 

“Ohhhh…..”she groaned, breathed heavy.

“I go back to the truck, get on the horn for an ambulance,” Sonny said.

“No!” The woman yelled. ” No ambulance, no doctors.”

“Hey lady,” Will said. “You’re badly hurt. You need to go to the hospital so they can look you over—”

“No hospital!” She screamed. “No doctors!”

“Okay,” Will said. “Okay. Take it easy.”

“What do I do?” Sonny asked. ” I’ve never heard of anyone refusing to see a doctor when they’re hurt.”

“I don’t know. The accident still has to be reported.” Will said 

“No cops! No doctors!”

“Calm down, lady.” Sonny ordered. “We just want to help.”

Cathy finally got to her feet. A bit wobbly. Will helped to steady her.

“I’m okay….just give me a ride…..”

“Hey,” Will chided the woman. “You shouldn’t move. You were in a real bad wreck—-“

“I’m fine…just give me a ride please….”

Right before their eyes, the woman’s wounds began to heal. The caked blood gradually disappeared from her head. All bruises gave way to beautiful, unblemished skin.

Sonny and Will stared at the woman in disbelief.

“Hey…Will…..?” Sonny said slowly.

“Yeah….?”

“She…..she was all banged up, right?  Cuts all over her face, blood all over her….right?”

“Yeah, Sonny. By all accounts she shouldn’t be alive.

“Then how in the world did she just heal in front of our eyes?!”

“That’s definitely a puzzler, Sonny. But here’s an even bigger question: What happened to the wrecked car?”

Sonny gasped. The Pinto was gone. No car. No debris. Vanished. 

“HEY!!! The car…it’s gone! Disappeared before our eyes!” They turned slowly, locked eyes, mouths gaping  “Will……I’m spooked….”

Will nodded. “Me, too, Sonny.”

“What the hell are we gonna do?”

Will sighed deeply.

“I guess we better give the young lady a ride.”

****

Will steadied the wheel of the truck, let other vehicles zoom by. The woman called herself Cathy.  She sat in the middle, stared straight ahead.  Sonny was on the other side, watching the trees zip by.  The silence was killing Will.  He turned the radio on and could only find Jim Nabors and the Mama’s and Papa’s on every station. So he switched it off.

He saw the sign he’d been waiting for and excitement shot through his body. He whooped and smacked the steering wheel.Cathy and Sonny looked at him.

“What’s wrong with you? Memory of bad trips from all that Majiauna you smoke?”

“You don’t get bad trips from pot,Sonny,” Will said.

“So you say, ” Sonny retorted.

“I’m happy because of a sign I saw.”

“Will, you’re going to scare Cathy. Usually you want to make people think you’re sane.”

Cathy laughed. “He seems fine to me,” she smiled, and made googly eyes at Will.

Will smiled at Cathy, then he pulled a face. What am I doing? He thought. This is too weird!

Sonny noticed it. He rolled his eyes.”Oh, brother,” Sonny scoffed. “You can’t help yourself.”

 Will let the remark go. “According to that sign we just crossed over into Arizona.” Will said.  Carmody is about…uh…Thirty-five miles. Almost done with this job, Sonny.”

“Yeah,”Sonny said morosely.

“Why are you so glum?” Will asked.

Sonny suddenly became testy.

“Don’t worry about it!” He paused, feigned a smile, he said with a softer voice.

“Uh,Cathy, where are we taking you?”

“Carmody, Arizona.” She said, “Where else?” She giggled.

Sonny scoffed and made a face. “Of course.”

A beat passed and  Will and Cathy started a conversation of their own, Cathy flirted and Will ate it up. 

“I like your shirt,” Cathy said.

“Yeah?” Will replied with a chuckle.

Cathy giggled. “Reminds me of something a gunfighter would wear in an old cowboy movie.”

“I got this shirt in Rochester, New York. Can you believe that?”

Cathy pretended to be shocked. “Oh, no! I thought maybe Oklahoma, or Texas!”

They both laughed. There was a pause and Sonny took the opportunity to jump in. 

“I have a question,Cathy.”

“Okay,” she said. “Shoot.”

“Where are you from?”

“Sonny,” Will warned, and gave him the stink eye.

“Oh, it’s okay for you to be suspicious when it comes to Truman,” Sonny said.  “But when a girl is involved, you drop your spidey-sense!”

“Sonny, I’m just saying—”

“Not only that, she heals all her wounds and her wrecked car disappears!!”

Cathy was completely silent through the whole conversation. She stared straight ahead, not moving at all. Will alerted Sonny to this. Her eyes were wide open, her mouth slightly parted, but neither blinked nor the other trembled. It was like someone had hit the pause button and she was freeze-framed. 

“What in the hell……” Will said.

“Holy smokes….Will, this crap is freakin’ me out.” Sonny said.

“You and me both, friend.”

Sonny’s voice was in shambles. “I don’t know how you can be so damn calm?”

And just like that, Cathy was back, giggling, smiling, watching Will with bedroom eyes. 

“You guys go all over the place?” She asked.

Will cleared his voice, tried to compose himself.

“Yeah. We sure do.”

“Have you two been to Alaska?”

“No,” Will tried to smile, it came out as a grimace. “We haven’t. Been to Canada a lot. Beautiful country.”

Sonny continued to stare at Cathy. He was trying to get a grip on things.

“I had an Aunt who lived out there,” Cathy said. “Boy, was she ever a hoarder. It all started with Tea cups they used to sell on TV. Remember that commercial with Dick Clark? He’d just started to look old. After, what?  Four decades? Crazy. I’m pretty sure he sold his soul. Or maybe he’san Android? Anyways…where was I?”

“Talking about an Aunt in Alaska,” Will said.

“Oh yeah,” she giggled. “Started with Tea cups and moved on to cats, Dogs—-”

“You sure do talk a lot for somebody who was in a bad accident,” Sonny blurted out.

“Sonny!Knock it off!” Will be chastised. 

Cathy laughed. “I do talk a lot. Once I get going, theres no shuttin’ me up.”

“I just think it’s odd, okay?” Sonny said.

When Will was angry he sounded like he had marbles in his mouth.

“A person’s got a right to talk! Besides, the company is better than you discussing Waylon Jennings’ life for the umpteenth time!”

Sonny retorted with: “What’s wrong with Waylon? I guess he ain’t good enough for you like the Rolling Beatles!”

“What is wrong with you?” Will smacked the steering wheel.  “You can’t even see past your own shed to notice anything else in the world!”

A Police car zoomed up beside the truck. A siren whooped twice to get Will’s attention, only he was busy arguing with Sonny. Cathy patted Will on the shoulder. Her touch was ice cold. He jerked away.

“Fellas?” She said.

Sonny and Will said simultanously: “What?!”

“There’s a cop flagging you down,” she said.

Will finally saw the Arizona State Trooper cruiser in his side mirror. 

“Jesus,” he said, exasperated.

He hit the signal light, veered to the right to pull over on the side of the road. Air brakes sounded off, and the truck came to a rolling stop.

“Oh…for cryin’ out loud!”  Sonny  exclaimed.

“Stay in the vehicle and keep your hands on the wheel or dashboard!” A voice boomed on the loudspeaker.

“I sure wish you’d pay attention on the road instead of her!” Sonny jerked a thumb toward Cathy. “You’re a magnet for the statues.”

“Me? You two were talking, too.” Cathy said.

“Hey, lay off,” Will said. “Don’t blame Cathy.  My fault I swerved.”

Heavy boots on gravel approached. Will saw an Arizona State Trooper in his side mirror, decked out in full uniform, sporting dark sunglasses.

“License and registration,” the Trooper said.

“Here you go, Officer.” Will nervously handed the paperwork over.

TheTrooper looked them over, handed them back. “This your truck?”

“Its mine, Officer,” Sonny chimed in. “Will is my partner in the truckin’ business.”

Sonny noticed Cathy was on pause again.

“Yeah,” Will said. “what’d I do back there?”

The Trooper became agitated.

“Shut up! I’ll ask the questions.”

“Hey, hold on here. You might be in authority, but that doesn’t give you cause to be rude,” Sonny said.

“Hey,” Will said.  “You have no right to talk to a citizen like that.”

The Trooper drew his weapon. Will and Sonny screamed at the same time, quickly placed their hands on the dashboard, or steering wheel.

“KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE THEY ARE!”

“Hey…no need for the gun, buddy….” Sonny said.

“Smart ass, huh?” The Trooper stuck the barrel of his .357 inside the window of the truck. Will turned slightly to the side.

“I’ll have you know I practiced law back in Boston—”

“Will, be quiet, huh? This guy ain’t playing.”

“We haven’t done anything wrong for this Pig to act—”

“Will….shush, okay!”

Something dawned on Will.“Hey, where’s your backup?”

“Both of you shut the hell up!” The Trooper ordered. He removed his sunglasses. The Statie’s eyes were glowing red.

Will and Sonny gasped.

“Uhhhh…..Sonny…you see when he took his sunglasses off?”

“Yeah….his eyes were red…like…on fire……” Sonny said, still in shock.

“Oh boy…..”

“This keeps getting weirder and weirder,” Sonny said.

“Get out of the truck!” The Trooper demanded. “Both of you!”

Will and Sonny hesitated.

“Now!” The Trooper yelled.

“I guess we better do as he says,” Sonny opened the passenger door. 

“Yeah,” Will opened the door on the driver’s side.

“Over there,” the Trooper motioned with the gun for them to stand against the guardrail. They did as they were told.

“Hey….where’s Cathy?” Will asked.

Sonny turned and saw Cathy wasn’t in the truck anymore.

“Oh heck! I don’t know! She was there a second ago……..”

“I didn’t even see her get out of the truck!”

“You two shut up!” The Trooper said.

“Look, man,” Will said. “Put the gun away.”

The Trooper jabbed Will in the ribs with the barrel of the .357.“I SAID SHUT THE HELL UP!” Will nodded, backed away from the gun.The Trooper continued: “You two have something my boss wants.”

“Oh, boy,” Will said under his breath.

“Damn,” Sonny scoffed, “I knew we shouldn’t have got involved with that Truman guy!”

Angrily, Will turned to Sonny. “What?! What did you just say?”

“Hey, don’t get sore at me,” Sonny said.

“Where is it?” The Trooper said. His eyes burned so red, Will could feel the heat from them.

“Where’s what, Officer?” Will said with an impish grin.

“That box, stupid!” The Trooper bellowed. “My boss wants it, real bad!”

A strange humming noise, a combination of white noise and elongated chiming, entered the atmosphere. Will and Sonny winced. Cathy appeared between the Trooper and Will.

“Well you can’t have it!” She said, placed a hand on the Trooper’s cheek and he burst into flames.He screamed, dropped the gun and ran a few feet before exploding. Will and Sonny watched in horror as the remaining ashes of the Arizona State Trooper sprinkled down from the air all around them.

“What the—” Will and Sonny chimed together.

“See,” Cathay said. “I’m good for something, huh?”

“She-she just came out of nowhere,” Sonny said, distraught. 

Will said, confused, “And set that man on fire……”

Her eyes glowed red. They just glared at her.

 “I bet you two are glad you brought me along,” Cathy giggled.

****

Rolling down the highway, the truck merged with an exit indicating where they needed to be. Scottsdale.

Inside the truck was unbearable silence. Sonny was at the wheel, paying more attention to the road than he had in months. Once in a while glancing at Cathy to make sure she wasn’t going to touch him. Will stared out the window, watching the stars in the clear night sky, wishing he’d made a different choice in life. Maybe kept his law office in Boston.

The truck began to stall out.

“Now what?” Sonny said, agitated. 

He pulled off on the side of the narrow road just before a stop sign. Air Brakes sounded off and Sonny turned on his hazard lights right before the engine died. All three got out, Cathy followed Will and Sonny to the front of the truck, her arms folded.

“Why are you two acting so scared?” She said.

They didn’t answer.

“ Look,” Cathy continued. “It’s just magic. I’m not a demon or anything—”

That strange humming filled the air. Will grabbed Cathy and pulled her to him.

“Cathy! WATCH OUT!!”

 Two Arizona State Troopers appeared, reaching for her. A cruiser rolled up without a driver.

“Get her!”One said.

The other Trooper took her by the arm, she froze.

“You guys look spooked,” The first Trooper said. The second one, still holding on to Cathy, laughed.

“Wouldn’t you be spooked if you saw people come and go, vanish, reappear? Not to mention seeing a guy set on fire?”

The First Trooper shrugged. “Yeah,” he said. “I guess so.”

“Hey, guy,”  Sonny said to the second Trooper. “Your hand is still on fire.”

“Oh. Thanks,” The second Trooper nodded and blew out the flame. His fingers smoldered.

“Get in the car!” The first Trooper ordered.

Will and Sonny exchanged looks, resigned to the situation, they shrugged at each other.

“Where are you taking us?” Will asked.

“To see our boss,” The first Trooper shoved them to the cruiser. “Who else?”

“Look,” Sonny said. “If you had found the box, would you still be taking us to your boss or would you leave us alone?”

First Trooper said, “If we found the box—”

The second Trooper carried  the sentence.

“You’d be dead—”

The First Trooper finished with:

“And we wouldn’t need to take you to our boss.”

It was a dingy ballroom of a dingy restaurant. Chamber music playing loudly, some whining flute over top of a rolling piano and tabla accompaniment. Sonny and Will sat at a table with red and checkered plastic tablecloth and plastic wine glasses in front of them. Patrons we’re enjoying their spaghetti dinners and chattering amongst themselves. 

Sonny was looking nervous. Will wasn’t bothered at all by the situation. As a matter of fact, he grabbed an oversized menu. He perused the meals, constipating ordering something 

“I don’t know what happened to the box,” Sonny whispered. “I put it in the glove compartment. Right before those Troopers showed up I checked for it. It was gone.”

“I  bet the linguini and eggplant is good here,” Will said, studying the menu. “I mailed it.”

“You what?” Sonny said.

“I went to a post office when we stopped for a bite to eat in Tennessee,” Will said 

“Why would you do that? Our job was to take that box to Carmody, Arizona with my truck! Oh boy! What if the mailman loses it? Huh? Why would you do that?”

“If it was something illegal, the post office would find it. “

“There wasn’t anything illegal.”

“How do you know?” Will asked. “Did you look?”

Sonny was embarrassed.

“Well,” he paused, then coughed, “No. Did you look in the box?”

Will shook his head. He tossed the menu aside 

“I was too scared to.”

Sonny said, quietly, calmly:

“You shouldn’t have mailed the box.”

Will sighed deeply. “I know.” He looked out the window. No traffic in town. No people bustling about. No work on the roads  “Sure isn’t much here in Carmody. Looks like a ghost town.”

“Man, this place…..kinda gives me the creeps,” Sonny said. “I see people eating here….and they give me the creeps.”

“I know what you mean. Their skin is falling off their faces…..eyes are glowing red….”

The first Trooper ambled from the kitchen. Sonny alerted Will of the Trooper’s presence. They stopped talking, glared at him 

“He will see you now.” The Trooper said.

“Who will see us?” Will asked.

” Just get up and come on, asshole,” he grabbed Sonny.

“Hey!” Sonny tried to shake the Trooper off, but he had an iron grip.  ” Get your hands off me!”

Will was already out of his chair, and the Trooper shoved him.

“Don’t shove!” Will cried out.

They moved through the kitchen with a cook, a waitress, and a dishwasher stuck in their work, on pause. They ended up in an office decorated with bland white walls and a desk littered with papers. No chairs were there for them to sit.  A small, bald man in a sweater and lime colored tie, and large coke bottle glasses, sat with a smoldering cigarette between his fingers, blue smoke rings circling his head.

“Hello,” the man’s voice warbled. “My name is Dance Nichols.” He paused, took a long drag of his cigarette, exhaled with a sigh.”Where is the box?”

“Look,” Will said. “We don’t know where the box is. A guy named Truman hired us to bring it here and deliver it to a Ralph Spare—-“

Sonny interrupted: “My partner mailed the box.”

“Sonny!” Will exclaimed.

“Will, Sometimes you have to tell the truth and-and maybe it won’t …..get you….killed.” He stopped cold, wiped sweat from his forehead with his hand.”You’re right, Will. We shouldn’t have got mixed up with that Truman guys!”

“I didn’t know for sure, Sonny,” Will conceded.

“Of course you shouldn’t have trusted Truman!” Nichols said angrily. “He’s such an insufferable Heretic! He only cares for himself and no one else! Getting burned by Truman doesn’t just break your heart, it corrodes your soul!” He Sniffed,.collected himself. He became  indifferent again. “I bet you two are wondering what is going to happen next.”

“We all go out for Ice cream?” Will said. 

“Very droll,” Nichols said.  “No. My men here rip you two apart and feast on your insides.”

The Troopers made a ravenous growling sound more akin to humming.  Boot heels on linoleum flooring. The Troopers dashed toward Sonny and Will.

“Hold on!” Sonny yelled nervously. “Hold on! What happened to Cathy? Huh?” 

A gust of wind came through, knocked the two Troopers to the floor, blew paperwork into Nichols face, and Sonny and Will into each other. A strange humming sounded off.

A booming voice echoed.

“Let them go, Nichols…..it’s me you want….”

A short chubby man in a rumpled blue suit with very bad acne appeared. He roared with laughter as he tugged on his tie. Cathy appeared holdy his arm.

“Oh, man!” He crooned.  “You wouldn’t believe the traffic out there! So many Witches out there, it’s a wonder I didn’t run into my wife!” The man laughed, his round belly shook like jello.  He tugged at his tie and his large fish eyes bulged 

Nichols glared at the man with disgust. 

“Can you please use the front door, Ralph?! We’ve talked about this before! So uncouth.”

Uncouth counts in the bedroom, if you know what I mean?” Ralph pulled his tie and growled at Cathy. She giggled, and blushed  this hottie Sure is makin’ me sweat! Know what I mean?” He paused, pulled on his tie.

“Say baby, wanna come over later to listen to some records…maybe lick a lollipop—whoa!”

Cathy smacked his arm. “Ralph! Enough with the jokes!” She giggled.

“Ooo…shot down like an Iraqi missile in the Gulf war,” Ralph tugged at his tie. “Anyway, I got what you want, Nichols.”

He tossed the box on Nichols desk. Startled and excited, Nichols jumped from his chair. He lunged for it, thought better, slowly sat back down.

“YES! You may be an uncouth fool, Ralf Spare, but you always come away with results!” Nichols chuckled.

Sonny looked Ralph up and down. 

“You work for him?”

“I work for anybody who’s got greenback!” Ralph replied. “Those golf course fees ain’t cheap buddy!”

“I don’t get it,” Sonny said. “Why would Truman want us to deliver the box to this guy if he’s going to give it to an enemy?”

“They didn’t use to be,” Ralph said. “Those two used to play crochet together.”

Nichols let an inhuman growl escape. “Shut up about him, Spare! I don’t want to hear his name again!!!” He closed his eyes, counted to ten, inhaled swiftly,  and exhaled slowly. Nichols personality changed to a calmer person. “Well….” He chuckled. “Let’s have a look at what Uncle Ralph brought us.” 

Nichols pulled the lid off the box and tossed it aside. He pulled a confused face, pursed his lips. 

“What the hell is this?” He yelled  “A rock?”

Ralph laughed.  

“Not just any rock, booby. A piece from the  sculpture of St. Sebastian from a Church in Venice. I believe that is his big toe.”

Flesh on Nichols sizzled, steam rose from his face. Nichols let out a blood curdling scream. Mere seconds later, Nichols was nothing but a pile of pink goo. Simultaneously, the two Troopers also transformed painfully into a pile of burning flesh.

Sonny and Will were in shock. They glared at the goo. 

Ralph whooped and laughed wildly. “Now that was a show!” 

“I don’t understand anything that’s happened,” Sonny said. 

“You and me, both,” Will said.”Was he a demon? Were the cops demons?” 

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, you two,” Cathy said 

 “Cops?” Ralph said. “Oh, of course not. They were actually Nichols. And he wasn’t exactly a demon, he just practiced the wrong magic. Nichols was a Magician., just like me, or our friend there.”

“That was not in the box,” Will said.

“Ohhhh….you looked inside.”

SONNY

“I….sorta peaked. Just  dust inside,” Will said.

Slightly miffed, Sonny folded his arms.“You peaked huh?” 

“Didnt you, Sonny?”

Sonny looked away, shrugged. “I thought it was empty.”

“Some people do think its empty, some think its just dust.Not just any dust. That was dust from someone who died for our sins. In the wrong hands it could be eternal life with a lot of power.”

Will noticed Cathy was about to faint. He rushed to catch her if she fell.

“Cathy! Are you alright?”

Instead, something else happened. The image of Cathy shimmered, faded into nothing. A beat passed, and Truman appeared in the same spot Cathy was standing.

“That’s not Cathy!” Ralph laughed. “ Look again!”

“Ohhhhh…I feel so weak…..” Truman said. He sat on Nichols desk, shook it off.

Will was angry. “The whole damn time you were Cathy!”

“Well…” Truman said faintly. “I couldn’t resist tagging along to see how you fellas would make out and I couldn’t resist seeing Nichols face when he got his…shall we say…comeuppance.”

Ralph laughed heartily and smacked Truman on the shoulder. Truman nearly fell from the desk. Sonny laughed with him.

“What’s so funny?” Will asked, indignant.

“I’m sorry, Will. It’s just…just…well….anytime we run across a female….”

“Oh stuff it!” Will exclaimed.